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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Grammar - It's my thing...




You Scored an A



You got 10/10 questions correct.



It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.

If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.

As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.

And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.



Friday, August 29, 2008

A Friday Funny

I find this particularly funny because Gram went out and bought herself an elliptical machine. It arrived and Grandpa spent a whole day putting it together. The next day, I asked Gram if she had used it yet.
"No... I need to read the instruction manual."
"Oh... ummm... okay." (I thought you just got on and walked.)
The next day I asked the same question.
"Yes... I walked for 5 minutes, but the 10 minutes of stretching before hand almost killed me!"
"That's great! Are you going to do 6 minutes tomorrow?"
"I'll see how I feel."
Needless to say, Gram has been doing pretty well with her elliptical machine...

She sent me this little gem this morning:

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

____________ _________ _________ __
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit- ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

____________ _________ _________ __
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

____________ _________ _________ _
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

____________ _________ _________
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
____________ _________ _________ _
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

____________ _________ _________ __
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

____________ _________ _________ __
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A letter to W

Dearest W,

I was going to try to let you do your own thing and hope you got your stuff together, but you lied to me - about a lot of things.

So - now, all bets are off.

When you called me and told me you had gotten out of rehab. I was surprised, but glad. This meant that you were free from the codeine.
When you told me that you had also abused alcohol. I was blown away.
Then when you told me that you met someone new... I wasn't surprised... this is what normally happens in therapy. I read... a lot. I see it all the time in books and articles. This is the reason the therapists don't want you to make any life changes for a year... I want you to be happy, but I can't let you throw your life away without telling you how I feel and what I think.

You have two beautiful girls who deserve a happy healthy family. Your addiction has changed that. Now, all we can do, is hope that they aren't scarred for life. They have seen you at your lowest. I'm sure you never wanted that to happen.

You have a husband - B. Remember him?
He loved you enough to do it all when you couldn't.
He loved you enough to move to the midwest. He left his family - the family that raised him when his parents died. The family that loves him. He left them behind to be with you -

Because he loves you...
Wake up! Smell the coffee!!!

He loved you enough to do an intervention.
He loved you enough to put you in a treatment program.
He loved you enough to throw all of his and your savings into your treatment - to try to help you.
He loved you enough to go to therapy to learn how things are with addicts.

He thought he had you back when he saw you part way through your treatment. He fell in love with you all over again. And he thought you and he were still okay. And things were okay -- you were talking about date nights and getting back to being a family... Until you met some nut. This nut who calls you all the time.. who NEEDS you. You are his new addiction and he is yours. Get over it.

B loved you enough to let you go to FL to the roomie you met in therapy - unfortunately you betrayed his trust and went to see the nut. NOT smart.

He loved you enough to let you go on vacation without him - and then you asked him to plan the route - and he did.

You are selfish. Life isn't all about you.
This man deserves more.

He is heartbroken and you did this to him.

Your therapist told you NOT to make ANY life changes for at least one year.
Did you listen?
No.
B loved you enough to go to mediation - to appease you, but you threw it in his face and filed for divorce that very day.
How selfish can you be?
This isn't fair to to B. It certainly isn't fair to the girls.
They deserve a real family. Take a step back, and figure it out.

Now, I haven't mentioned your mom and dad. They are worried about you. They love you more than you will ever know. They are frantic. But you don't seem to give a care.
This is not the W I know and love.

You need to get your rear back into therapy.
You are not cured.
You are on a slippery slope.
How do I know this?
You lied to me.

So - I've said my peace.
If you never speak to me again because of it, just know that I love you.
I'll be here... whenever you are ready.

xo
LBC

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

They Survived

The first day of school was relatively uneventful for both of my children. LLB took the bus both ways - let me tell you that we will NOT be doing THAT again any time soon. They arrived home at 4:25. I can go, pick her up at 3:25 (she's always the last one out!), hit the library for a couple of books, and be home at 3:50.

She hopped into the car and immediately said, "I had a great day!"
Then she started chattering on and on about her teachers, her classes, her lack of homework, what she needed for today, and how there was a new trumpet in her band. I asked if he was good. She isn't sure, but we'll find out today. She practiced last night... a lot.... just to be sure that she and only she will be seated in the coveted first chair.

#1 hopped into the car, took a deep breath and told me about his day. He told me that he is the only person in his section to have the music memorized, how he loved his Spanish teacher, was excited about his business class, and that his math teacher hadn't been there that day but they had had a test anyway. (Insert record scratch here. - Wait, stop... rewind.) He took a quick breath and continued on with the cold hard facts - he had AP History homework, that it was hard, and that it wasn't due until next Tuesday. Then he started asking me questions about the Vikings... I don't know squat about the Vikings, but fortunately for me, Mr. knows all things history.

So - it was a good day all around.

Me? What did I do? I went to lunch with the girls, did the laundry, cleaned my kitchen, and watched a little Dr. Phil... it was a great day.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Responsibility Project

I was contacted by Mom Central and asked to take a look at The Responsibility Project.

Liberty Mutual - my insurance company - has an advertising campaign going about responsibility and doing the right thing. I'm sure you've seen the ads... they are terrific. The response to the ad campaign was so good that Liberty decided to create this new web site - The Responsibility Project.

I love the site! It makes you think. It makes you talk.

They have short films that you can watch and then talk about with your children, your spouse, or your best friend. The films cover everything from making friends and being a good friend, to stopping thieves. This is terrific dinner conversation!! It's interesting what the kids really think.

There is also a blog link on the site. The blog is filled with different true stories about people and how they acted in different situations. We sat around and discussed some of these vignettes with our kids. The kids can often see both sides of the issue and are often far more forgiving than some of the commenters.

I think my favorite part of the whole site is the "What's Your Policy" page. You click on a word that completes the sentence: What is your idea of a responsible _____? You can choose from a long list of words from chef to friend to employee. From there you are brought to a list of definitions - you can even add your own. It is fun and thought provoking!!

This is exactly what I have come to expect as a long time customer of Liberty Mutual Insurance Company. I have both auto and home insurance. I have had Liberty Mutual insurance since I learned how to drive at the age of 16. Their insurance professionals behind the desk, on the phone, and on the internet are responsible, professional, and courteous.

Integrity - that's what Liberty Mutual has. That's pretty unusual for a company these days.

Ahhh... my favorite day of the year...

It is the first day of school!

#1 went out at 6:25am...
Yes, my friends, that high school bus sure is early... I think he looked pretty darned cute walking out the door this morning. It really is unfortunate that I have such poor photography skills, cause his hair looked pretty good, too! He walked out confident, schedule memorized, and ready for his sophomore year. Eeeek! In just a couple of years he'll be a senior.

My LLB - geeze... who taught me how to take a picture? Another headless wonder.
LLB went out at the more rational hour of 7:45am. She looks so sweet in her outfit. She was all dolled up - complete with new make up and perfume courtesy of Gram. LLB is at the top of the food chain at the middle school this year. She better enjoy it, because next year... she's back to being a teeny tiny minnow in a great big sea of high schoolers!

Friday, August 22, 2008

What a week!

Yes it is finally Friday!

LLB is done working.
It was a hard week for her.
She does not do children who do not behave or who behave badly. That kind of stuff makes her crazy.

She got in trouble for snapping at a child who was picking at her sibling during a game. LLB had asked her nicely to stop more than once. Just so you know, we do NOT allow the children to pick at each other - EVER! It is a huge no no around here. LLB had reached her max of this child berating her sister and told her to "knock it off!".

We told LLB that we didn't care that she got in trouble, that we believe she did the right thing.

The next day, LLB went back with her head held high. She knew she was being scrutinized and watched. She held her tongue. She waited for the teacher to correct these nasty children. They were having cupcakes for snack. LLB told me when I dropped her off that she just knew that some little kid was going to smash another little kid's cupcake in their face. Sure enough... it happened. The sweet little girl whose cupcake got smooshed in her face cried. LLB consoled her. The little brat - he had to sit in time out. (Sorry, but I would have sent him home. But, I'm mean like that.)

Yesterday was the graduation ceremony. I arrived after it was over to help clean up and get LLB. The teacher was upset because some of the siblings of these little brats were screaming and crying and running amok during her ceremony and the parents did nothing. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, obviously.) Another parent told her that she'd have to make an announcement at the beginning of the next graduation that if younger siblings act up, the parents will have to take them out. I stood there with my mouth agape. LLB said what I was thinking, "Mrs. C... they should know better. They should NOT have to be told. They obviously need to come to Cotillion and be educated." That's my girl! I hugged her hard!!

While we were cleaning up, some children were running around like banshees. It seems their parents couldn't make it to the ceremony and were late picking them up. The teacher snapped at them. Then she looked right at LLB, hugged her and said, "See I do get to that point too!" I grinned and said, "LLB just gets there sooner than you."

So, LLB earned her $100.
I think she'd be willing to go back next year... then again... maybe not.

Today is the teacher luncheon at LLB's middle school. We are having pizza delivered, Gram's tortellini salad, Gram's cucumber salad, (Yes, I helped her make those. Okay... so I licked the spoons. That's helping isn't it?) mixed green salad, water, fruit with optional whipped cream topping, lemonade, and cream puffs. We went relatively healthy this year. If they don't like it, they can go eat pb&j somewhere else.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Thursday 13

Thirteen Things Ladybug is thinking about today.

1. My friend W called yesterday.

2. She got out of rehab.

3. She told me she was coming to visit - tomorrow - as in today. Now, I knew that was not possible as she lives too far, but... maybe the day after..

4. This afternoon I spoke with her husband. It seems she is NOT coming to visit. She is upset with me. I dunno why... Heck, I was cleaning my house until her husband told me she wasn't coming.

5. I try to be supportive.

6. I will not judge her.

7. I will love her - whether or not I agree with what she is doing.

8. She did not ask for my advice.

9. If she had, I would have told her to sit tight, don't make any life changes at the moment, concentrate on her family, and get her head in the game. She has a husband who loves her, 2 great kids, and a phenomenal support system. All she has to do is let them help her...

10. You cannot fix addiction without hard work. Replacing one addiction with another isn't smart... It doesn't work.

11. Her husband is heartbroken and worried. She isn't listening to her counselors at all.

12. I think she thought she hit rock bottom. I'm afraid she has not... Based on her recent actions, she has not...

13. I'm missing my friend. I wish she would come back... I wish she could return to the person she was. The one who loves her family more than anything. The one who planned gingerbread house decorating every year and didn't mind candy strewn on her kitchen floor. The one who talked about her girls and their comings and goings. The one who brought her girls to my house for the afternoon... I miss her.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wordless Wednesday


When the band director shows up looking like this, you have to wonder what was in his morning coffee...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Letter to the Editor

An open letter to the editor:

If someone asks you to help at your kids' school, please don't say, "I work", "I don't have time", "I'm a very busy person", or "I'm a single parent". I don't care. I am so over your excuses.

Do NOT tell me that you work. We all work. Some of us work full time, some of us work part time, and some of us even work double time. Don't assume that because you see me at school helping out that I don't work. I do. I work 3 jobs. They don't pay much, but they do indeed pay. I am highly educated. I'm not stupid. Most of us who volunteer at the school have a college education and a work history that would blow your socks off.

Do NOT tell me that you are a busy person. We are all busy. I have kids at two schools - just like you. I have laundry to do, a house to clean, and appointments to keep - just like you. I am a member of a church that puts on a festival for 10,000 people every Memorial Day weekend. I know busy. I live it. I have the gray hair and dark circles to prove it. If you could be bothered to help out once a year, I'd have fewer gray hairs.

Do NOT tell the volunteer at the desk that you are a single parent with no time. The person you told that to is a single parent, too. Just because she has a wedding band on her finger does not mean that her husband is here. He is working out of state to provide for his family. She is doing it all - by herself - AND she is working... just like you.

Do NOT tell me that your child doesn't want you to chaperone the dances. My kid would prefer I wasn't there either. Believe me! I can think of at least 100 ways I would rather spend a couple hours on a Friday afternoon. I know that if I don't chaperone, there won't be a dance. We need 10 chaperones, but we often make do with far fewer, Why? Because if we cancel, the kids would be disappointed. The kids look forward to the dances and the socials. If you did your share, it would be a far more pleasant afternoon.

Do NOT tell me that you simply cannot chaperone a dance or a social because you can't make it to the school at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon. Puhleeze! If you are going on vacation or skiing for the weekend, you manage to get yourself there at 3:15 to pick up your kid. Sorry, your story isn't workin' for me.

Do NOT tell me that you can't spare any time. I don't believe you. You have time to get your hair and nails done. You have time to go on vacation. You have time to go to the mall. You have time for wine tasting and time to go to dinner with friends. Obviously, your priorities are skewed.

If the same ten people stopped doing, nothing would get done. There would be no dances, no picnics, no field trips. Nothing... Nada... Zip. Let me tell you something: The same ten people are tired of doing it all. We need the rest of you to step up, help out, and pull your weight.

Thanks,
LBC

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Fingers:
LLB's are in pink. I'm boring.
Toes:
LLB's are in the upper left. Auntie L's are light pink in the upper right. Mine are in the lower center. I love my red toes!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Bumper Cars

We drove to Montreal in our Civic.
Yes, it is small - especially our 6 foot tall #1 - but it gets 40 miles to the gallon.

It was 11 hours to the border...
When we arrived at the border the line was long - 1/4 of a mile long.
We knew it would be a long wait, but we thought at 20 seconds per car, we'd be out of there in an hour.

We turned off the air conditioner and opened the windows and sunroof.
It was a beautiful sunny and almost cool day.
The cars around us were all from Quebec.

The car in front of us was a Toyota Matrix with Quebec plates. It was brand spanking new. Very pretty, actually.

The driver of that Matrix was one who allowed her car to roll back before she went forward. Mr. took notice of that nasty habit and left her plenty of room. We figured it must be a stick shift and since the border crossing is on a slight incline... well, whatever.

We had been stopped for a while. Our Civic is a stick shift and Mr's clutch foot was getting tired, so he put our car in neutral and pulled the emergency brake to hold us still. This was the smartest thing he could have done.

We watched the Matrix roll back oh so slowly.
We expected it to then roll forward.
It kept coming - ever so slowly.
Mr. beeped gently.
Mr. beep beep beeped again.
And again..
And again..
And then... bump.

She rolled into us.
We motioned to her that she hit us.
She pulled forward.
She got out.
She inspected her car.
She said to Mr., "You are really lucky" in her Montreal accent and her way too tight jeans.
Mr replied, "Lucky? You are the lucky one! You rolled into us! That's why I was beeping."
"Oh! I did? I'm really sorry! I think I have been waiting too long."
(Yes, it was a long wait we'd been there an hour and then some, but does that give you permission to not pay attention?)
She hopped back into her Matrix totally embarrassed.
(Personally, I would have been more embarrassed by the tightness of the jeans than the bumper bumping.)
We gave her even more space as we crept towards the border crossing.
She rolled a couple more times, but caught herself.
After each roll, she glanced in the mirror and there I was looking at her smiling and shaking my head.

Note: Do not arrive at the border at 4pm when the border guards are taking 3 min. per car. Do not stay behind a silver Matrix with Quebec plates. She has a brake pedal, but she forgets how to use it - frequently.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Home at last...

What a week!

It was fun, but there is nothing better than a good night's sleep in one's own bed.

Mr's mom is very difficult to buy for. She has a teeny tiny apartment with very little space for "stuff". We thought long and hard this year and finally came up with a great little gift. We bought his mom a digital photo frame. We filled it with 750 pictures - those pictures include childhood pictures of all the siblings, children, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, and more. The frame also plays music. Mr. loaded it with cheezy old French music that his mom absolutely loves. (I'm just glad I don't have to listen to it!) The gift was a hit! She loved it. I'm glad because it sure was a labor of love to find, choose, and load that frame.

We had a terrific time in Montreal with Mr's family - we laughed, we told stories, we ate, and we laughed some more. We spent part of the week with Auntie L and the rest of the week with Uncle M. We are hoping they all come down to visit soon so we can repay their kind hospitality.

We only had one issue while we were there. Uncle P decided that he was going to be a pill. Our trip has been planned for months. We wanted to be sure we got to see everyone when we were up there.
We were supposed to meet up with Mr's mom and everyone for dinner as soon as we arrived in Montreal - after a 12 hour drive, mind you. Unfortunately, the 2 hour line at the border put a huge dent in those plans. We ended up stopping at Uncle M's (his house is closest to the border) for a rest and light supper. (Believe me, we could not have driven another mile at that point. We were beat!) Mr. immediately called everyone to explain the situation. They totally understood - well, except for Uncle P. It seems he didn't appreciate the change. (It's not like we PLANNED or even ENJOYED sitting for 2 HOURS at the border!!)
P refused to see us or even return a phone call for the rest of the week. Mr. called, left messages, and emailed to no avail. Mr. even called from a phone booth! Eventually Mr. got a hold of him and asked where and when to meet. Uncle P chose the most inopportune time and place, but Mr. was willing to go anyway - without complaint. The morning of the scheduled meeting Mr got an email... it seems Uncle P was simply too busy. Mr was disappointed. He really wanted to see and spend time with ALL of his siblings. He got over it pretty fast - there is not much that a smoked meat sandwich can't cure!

Me - I was so over P and his games after the first day! I've seen him do this before -- but that was when we lived closer and went to Montreal more frequently. We only get up there once a year or less now. The least P could have done was made some time for his brother. I'm not talking a whole day... I'm talking an hour for lunch or dinner or even just drinks and appetizers or something. And it would even have been our treat. As far as I'm concerned, it's P's loss.

The rest of us had a wonderful time! We rode the Bateau Mouche around the port of Old Montreal. We ate smoked meat sandwiches for dinner at 9pm one night. (Note: A little earlier would be better.) We had lobster at Uncle M's. We spent time in the hot tub. We laughed. We told stories. We toured. We rode the Metro. We all had a really nice time just being together.

P missed out.
So be it.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Soggy Bottoms

When Mr. got into the car yesterday morning, he was surprised by a soggy bottom.
It took a moment for dawn to break on marble head.
As he was trying to figure out what was causing that dampness in his nether region, he happened to glance up. His glasses got covered in rain drops and he saw a dark cloudy sky - not the sunroof that normally covers that gaping hole in the roof.

Can you imagine the sinking feeling he had both literally and figuratively... I can...

And, boy, am I glad that I wasn't the last person to drive that car!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Montreal - Day 1 - A quick post

We are in Montreal.

It was a two hour wait at the border - but that is a story for another time when I have time.

Today we did lunch with the family at one of our favorite local restaurants - Yes, I got the Poutine.

We toured old Montreal and got the kids' caricatures done. The guy who did them captured the essence of both of them - their eyes were perfect!

We did the boat tour - complete with a glass of red wine. Yes, I'm having a great time - probably because my family is plying me with my favorite beverages... As I type this, I have a Labatt's Bleue sitting within arm's reach.

We tried to hit a musical instrument shop, but fortunately for me and my pocketbook, it had just closed 15 min. prior to our arrival. I don't think I could have gotten either child out of there without a new professional level instrument in their hot little fists. My BIL insisted that they could just try and not buy. He's funny. He thinks he knows these children. I know that they would have found "the perfect instrument" and been devastated when we made them leave it behind. Nothing would EVER compare and I would, again, be the MEAN one.

Tomorrow is LLB and my spa day with my SIL, L. We are all excited to spend the day doing girly things. Personally, I'm looking forward to having my fingers and toes expertly coiffed... as I am not one to EVER do this stuff. I just hope I can get through it without totally embarrassing myself - I'm the most ticklish person on the planet.

So - if you hear about a woman who kicked her nail person so hard that she flew out the door - It was an accident. I promise.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Vacation

We are off to the Great White North - AKA: Montreal.

We are going to see family, eat poutine, get our nails done, and take in some sights. The forecast is for rain and cold until Thursday. At least we won't sweat to death like we usually do...

If you know of any sights we should see - indoors - let me know. Last year we did St. Joseph's Oratory and The Redpath Museum. In the past we've seen the Botanical Gardens, the Olympic Stadium, a couple of museums, and St. Catherine Street. We've done the underground shopping, and gone ice skating indoors. We are up for anything that doesn't cost us an arm and a leg.

I've got my camera, my gps, and my toothbrush. I've packed some clothes and I'm ready. We have books on tape for the car and our Nintendos are charged.

I hope to hop on to the internet while we are there, but I'm not counting on doing much more than checking mail. See you all when we return.

Oh - if you happen to drop in - walk the dog, will ya?

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Cigar Smell...

Polo always smells like cigars.

We've been going to polo pretty regularly, as you all know.

We are observant people - we saw the blow up doll, we see the outfits, we see pretty much everything.

What we have missed is the cigar girl.

Last night we noticed a young girl walking through the crowd with a cigar tray.

We had a light bulb moment. People don't bring cigars to polo. They BUY cigars at polo.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Dinner Table Conversation

My friend J told me this story that happened at her dinner table on Thursday night. I find the whole thing hysterical...

It all started when I took Zeb with me to pick up LLB at ballet camp. Zeb needed his toenails trimmed and his appointment was shortly after ballet.

LLB took Zeb to see the ballet girls.
One of them asked if he was a girl or a boy.
"He is a boy"
"He can't be a boy. He doesn't have a whatzis."
"He had an accident. That's why he doesn't have a whatzis."
LLB proceeded to tell them the story of why the poor sweet dog doesn't have a whatzis.

That night at dinner, J's daughter and her friend were relating this same story to J and her husband P.
"Zebbie doesn't have a whatzis because it fell off when he was mating and the girl dog pulled away."
J was wondering if they really had any idea what all of that meant when her daughter leaned over to her dad, patted him on the back and said,
"Don't worry dad, that won't happen to you."

Friday, August 01, 2008

Things that make me go GRRR

We had the drum and bugle corps competition at our high school this past week. This is our biggest fund raiser of the year. That meant that we all had to show up on the hottest night of the year to work our tails off, sell food, tickets, programs, etc.

Every kid in the music program was supposed to help. We all know that the last week in July is a big vacation week, so we didn't have everyone, but we did have a bunch of really hard working people there.

What really burns my bippie is when people (who plead poverty all year and get scholarships for their kids to various activities) tell me that they don't want to help because they don't want to miss the show. They would rather fork out $20 per ticket and sit and enjoy it.

Let me tell you... I am steaming!

I'll start at the beginning.
I got a call in the morning from this woman. (She is whiny and lazy, and her kid is obese to the point I worry about him having a heart attack.) She asked me when the gates opened and how this whole drum corps thing worked. I explained to her that this was our major fund raiser for the the year and that we needed every single person to help.

"Well... it's hot. I'd rather just pay the money so we don't miss any of the show."
This is a woman who supposedly worries about every last penny. But, she can pay $60 for her and her 2 cherubs to come and sit at a drum corps show...
"Yes, this is always on the hottest night of the year. But, we really need you and your boy to help. If you help, you will work half of the show and see half of the show."
"Well... maybe I can just show up tomorrow and help clean up."
"No... we clean up right after the show so we don't have to go back in the heat of the day. We need you to have your boy there to help at 4pm."

We arrived at 4:30 after getting LLB from her dance camp. LLB and #1 got their staff shirts and went off to help at their designated spots.

At 6pm the gates opened. My #1 was selling concessions in the stands. My LLB was helping with concessions at the food stand. I was helping at the bank. My sweet Mr. who had been up since 4:30am was helping to park cars.

I hear this whiny voice,"Hi LBC! Are you working hard?"
I looked up to see the woman and her kids.
I grinned while I gritted my teeth and bit my tongue.

How dare she!?
The nerve!

Let me tell you.. if they apply for a band scholarship this year (I know her boy got a free ride to camp last year) and I can have a say, I say NO WAY IN HELL are they getting any of the funds we worked so hard to earn. They didn't help. They just sat on their butts and watched the rest of us work our tails off.

I was annoyed... totally annoyed... I still am annoyed. I firmly believe that if you are given a scholarship because you don't have the money, the least you can do is give your time when it is needed. But, I guess my momma raised me right...

I spent the whole night running - as did #1. As a matter of fact, I had a parent who was working concessions come over and tell me what a great kid my #1 is. He worked the whole night - didn't take a break. He just kept going like the energizer bunny. During the second half he was the only one selling - everyone else bailed on him.

Actually, he loved selling his stuff in the stands. He had a great time!

At midnight, #1 called me on his cell.
"Hi Mommy."
"Hi Bud!"
"I'm tired."
"I know, my boy. Are you finished cleaning up?"
"Yup. Everything is done. I can go."
"Meet me at the car. I'll take you home."
"Okay."

So - not only did he arrive and help set up at 4:30pm, he stayed to help clean up after carrying food in the stands from 6pm until 11pm.

On they way home #1 and I discussed the other boy not helping. #1 is NOT happy about it. #1 mentioned that one of the other kids bought a ticket to watch the show, but showed up early to help set up. #1 was okay with that. He felt that was fair because he did both.

I told #1 how proud I was of him and what a good job he did - as did his dad and his grandparents.
His response, "I had a job to do and I did it."

Yes, my boy...
You know how to work hard and give back.

I have taught you well.