Slipping and Falling

Last Thursday I cleaned. I vacuumed. I dusted. I polished.
When I finished, my house looked great and I kicked off my shoes and sat down with a much deserved snack - an English muffin with jam.
I took one bite and the phone rang.
I got up to answer the phone and as I was about to round the corner, my feet went one way and my body the other. My English muffin landed face down. I landed on my rear end. It was a spectacular fall and would have broken the internet had it been filmed. Alas, fortunately, it was not.
I currently have and enormous bruise on my leg for where I landed on the vacuum on the way down. It is a most colorful bruise... lots of reds and purples - even five days out.
I am fine. My bruise is sore, and I’ve found other places where I must have bumped on the way down.
I have learned a few lessons:
Don’t run around in socks unless your floors are dirty.
If you take your shoes off, put your slippers on.
When you get up to answer the phone, put your plate on the table.
English muffins always fall jam side down.