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Monday, August 31, 2009

This will have to do...

I've not gotten the pictures of the windows or the first game uploaded yet. You'll just have to make do with the following funny I got in my email box this morning:

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe , well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece , gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel , has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada , self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet , wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, Ruled by Nuts.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Life is good...

The windows are in.
They are lovely and as Mr. says, they make our house look like a home. Our other windows were in such sorry shape that they made our house look "unloved", "cheap", and "shoddy". Our little house is starting to look more sturdy, and when we came up the driveway (after midnight) last night, it looked a whole lot nicer!

Last night was the first football game of the year. It was LLB's first football game as a member of the marching band and #1's first as a Junior. I didn't get a picture of the two of them in their uniforms, but I have a whole season to get a few of those. She enjoyed every minute - playing on the field and in the stands, eating dinner with her friends before hand, and partying afterwords at the local pancake house. On the way home, she chattered on about how much fun she had and that she is really glad that she is in the band. (It is so cool!!)

My favorite anecdote from last night is this one:
I'm a uniform mom. My dear friend R is my right hand person. We hand out uniforms. We get them cleaned. We make sure they are all put away correctly. That's it.
One freshman boy came upstairs after he was dressed and said, "They told me to come up here so you could fix my hair."
"Mr. Freshman, Do I look like I do hair? (My hair was in a questionable ponytail.) You'll have to ask your section leader if there are any mothers doing hair. (His section leader is my #1.) I do uniforms, I don't do hair."
"But, they told me to come up here."
"They lied."
"My hair is too long in the back. It has to be above my collar. What am I going to do?"
My dear friend R replied, "We can cut it off."
He left... quickly...
I hope we didn't scar him for life...

For me, one of the best parts of the evening was seeing the many different band parents come out of the woodwork to help us. It's nice to have an active group that wants to help... It sure beats the STP (same ten people) we've had in the past. It's a new era and it is good.

The Indian

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.
He says to the waiter: "Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp,
Turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere
And then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to The waiter: "Want coffee."
The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto!
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says ..
"Training for position in United States Congress:
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

T minus 24 hours...

Our new windows are due to arrive at 8am tomorrow morning.

Seeing out is a new concept around here because almost every window we have - and we have 24 - has broken seals. Moisture has crept between the panes and left a haze. The haze will be gone, the mullions will be between the windows for easy cleaning, and we will finally be air tight.

Oh and all of my windows will match!!! Right now some have mullions, some have partial mullions, and some have no mullions. It's lovely... really. (Most people probably don't notice, but I do.)

There is one downside to all of this: I'll actually have to wash the windows now... I refused to wash those hazy windows - it made no difference. It's a small price to pay.

I have two new doors coming as well, but those are taking a little longer.
I can be patient. Lord knows I've waited 5 years, what's another 2 weeks?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Okay... so...

Let me get this straight.

Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it and whose members will be exempt from it, signed by a president who smokes, funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that is broke.

What could possibly go wrong?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Yippeee!!!

Ahem... excuse me.
I got a little overzealous there...

Today is the first day of school. I now have two high school students in my family. #1 left in his car this morning - all excited to be a junior with a parking spot and wheels to go in it. LLB took the bus. She is happy that her brother is driving, but is not ready to trust him completely - and I'm totally fine with that. She is content to ride the bus with her friends. As a matter of fact, when the bus pulled up, I could see 3 of her good friends through the windows. When she hopped on, one of them cheered and called her name. I'm sure that makes riding the bus even more palatable.

The kids have marching rehearsal after school, so I'll still have to run down there and pick her up - which is fine with me since I have a bunch of band shoes to pass out - you do know that I'm the Shoe Fairy... I fit and order shoes. Fortunately, that gig ends with the shoe delivery this afternoon. I, like my mother, don't DO feet.

Last week, Mr. Band Director requested all the student leaders show up on Friday to have a meeting, help clean up some stuff, and move some equipment to the storage trailer. I'd like you all to know that the ONLY kid who showed up was my #1.

I got a quick and very quiet phone call from #1 upon his arrival asking me what to do because there was a meeting going on in the band room. I told him that there should be a list of things to do on the wall. He whispered back that he did see it, thanked me for my help, and went off to complete the assignments.

When Mr. Director joined him, he asked if #1 had completed X, Y and Z. #1 said, "Yes."
Mr. Director looked right at him and said, "Oh, wow! Well, I guess I know who I can count on."
#1's response, "Yup. I guess you do."
(My thought when #1 told me the story - HA! Take that Mr. Director!! HA!)

It seems that Mr. Director went to do a couple of things that #1 had completed as well - without being asked. Mr. Director was very pleased and surprised that #1 had gone beyond the call of duty. (As he should be.) #1 said that every time Mr. Director went to do something that had already been completed, he said, "Oh - you did that TOO?! Wow! Thanks!"

When the Mr. Director asked him if he wanted to stay for lunch and have pizza - since that was part of the deal, #1 declined and told him to save it for another time when everyone could partake. He told him that he was going to go home to have lunch with LLB who was home alone. Yes, my friends, HE really is that sweet and SHE got out of shopping for toilet innards with me...

Mr. Director smiled, handed him a can of ice cold soda, and thanked him for his help. So - I guess Mr. Director has finally figured out that my #1 is as wonderful as the rest of the world claims.
It's about time!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Just stuff.

School starts Monday.
The kids have their schedules and are ready to go.
#1 already has homework for US History AP which he finished yesterday.
We went through the list of supplies they need for each class and believe it or not, came up short in the composition notebook category. I - the girl who hoards school supplies - am out of composition notebooks!

I have my knickers in a twist... It's not a huge deal, but it's the little things that make me crazy! While I was at school the other day, I tried to drop off a large bottle of generic ibuprofen with the school nurse. It was the same bottle that had been at Band Camp the previous week... The bottle that had arrived at Band Camp sealed but had been opened and had 2 capsules removed during the week for use by the same kid who would be using it. The nurse refused my bottle because it was not sealed.
I had walked the bottle from the band wing to the nurse and now it's unacceptable. I told the nurse that it was another $12 to purchase another bottle. (I can afford another bottle, but in this economy, $12 might not be possible for some families with school supplies, school fees, and other cash that needs to be dropped for the beginning of school.) She basically told me that it was not her problem. We left and purchased a new bottle. By the time we did that and got back to school, she was gone - so the $12 became $12 plus 40 miles in gas to bring it back because the kids can't bring it to school - the parents must bring it. GRRRR!!!! Like I said, it's not a huge deal, but it sure is annoying! We brought it back yesterday because we were going to town anyway and we always try to kill 2 birds with one tank of gas...

Today #1 is off to school to help in the music room. Don't ask me what he'll be doing - I have no idea. BUT, while he is working, I'll be running errands - I'm getting the ingredients for my pasta salad that I'm bringing to the sorority reunion tomorrow, picking up the composition notebooks we are missing, and shopping for toilet innards. The best part of the whole thing is that he can drive himself to town and I can go the other direction - where there is a Super Wallyworld AND a Tarjay - oh, and a Lowlys. I can be in school supply heaven AND get my veggies AND shop for toilet innards all in the same stop!!!

It's the little things...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Funny!

An archeological team, digging in Washington DC, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first politician.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Funny!!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc...

I called Lifeline.

Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan ..
I told them I was suicidal.

They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck..

Has it really been a week?

I can't believe it's been that long since I posted anything out here. I'm slacking!

Time sure does fly when I'm busy with the kids!
Last week it was band camp.
They were at school from 8am to 8pm. Fortunately, I didn't have to stay the whole time - but I did have my own uniform drama - which is almost over. I have a few more kids to fit and then I'm done!

The kids worked very hard all week - they marched, they played, they laughed, they even had time for some fun! They even learned the whole show!!! This is huge! They are way ahead of where they were last year and years past.

I took pictures - lots of pictures. It was my LLB's first high school band camp... And she LOVED it! She plays trumpet and is the only freshman as well as the only girl. Those trumpet boys really like her - she's tough, she can play, and the fact that she knows what she's doing makes an impression. This kid doesn't need to be babied, that's for sure!

The trumpets needed t-shirts. I made this one for them:
and purchased this one (after trips to 4 different Wallyworlds):
Kids who play trumpet have an attitude or an air... The shirts definitely accentuated that attitude!

#1 had a great week as well - but fortunately, the woodwinds have their act together and didn't need me to do their t-shirts... :-)

They have rehearsal tonight... If you need me, I'll be in the uniform room - buried under piles and piles of red and gray.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Are You SURE

You want Obamacare?

Here is what happened to my BIL (brother-in-law):

He lives in Canada. The land of socialized medicine that Obama wants to bring here to the good old USA.

Rick broke his ankle while out walking his dog this past Friday morning. He was brought to the hospital by ambulance - according to him if he had walked in, he'd still be waiting to be treated. They brought him in to the hospital and he sat until they decided to x-ray his ankle - which by then had swollen to twice its normal size. The radiologist said it was broken in 2 places but that the specialist wasn't available to look at him or the x-ray until Thursday.
Yes, people, a week later!!!
So, they wrapped his ankle in an ace bandage and sent him home with pain killers. He is supposed to sit with his foot up until Thursday!!! His ankle is broken in 2 places... 2!!!
He called the doctor on Friday afternoon when he got home to see if they could see him sooner. Nope... so sorry. You need to wait your turn.
His ankle is healing all wrong. He will most likely have to have it re-broken and set correctly - probably with surgery.
But, he can have a consult on Thursday.
I'm sorry, but I find this totally unacceptable!
According to my BIL, it's better than when he hurt his shoulder - that took 6 months to get the MRI and another 6 months to start treatment...

So - if you break a leg and you have Obamacare this is what you have to look forward to! Expect to wait a week for the specialist to show up to read your x-ray and make a treatment plan. Oh, yes, and the government will decide if and when to implement that treatment plan.

Thanks... I'll pass.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Taking Responsibility

When I was a new driver, I had to call when I got to my destination. We did not have cell phones. We had land lines. I would arrive at my destination, I'd walk into the house, say hello to my hosts, and dial my mom. It was that simple.

Fast forward a few years...
#1 has to call when he arrives at his destination. We are not talking a short hop across town. This is a 20 mile ride on roads where the speed limit is 55. He has a cell phone. All he has to do is pull up in front of his destination, turn off his car, and dial.

Last night he did not dial. This is the second time he did not dial.
I waited 1.5 hours for him to call. When he did not, I called him.
I reminded him that he didn't call. He promptly told me that he had been too busy to call. I then reminded him that since this was the second time he forgot, he would lose his driving privileges for 2 weeks.
He was not happy.
I gave him 1.5 hours to call me. All he had to do was dial and let it ring once....

When he arrived home, he harped and whined. He did not say that he was sorry. He did not say that he had forgotten. He did remind me that he wasn't in an accident. That is a blessing, yes, but I didn't know that because he didn't call...

Whatever, Dude! You had a job to do.
You didn't do it.
You lose.
No car for 2 weeks.

He has tried to wear me down. He cannot win. He should know this by now... He will never win. Next time I ask him to call when he arrives at his destination, he will call. Or, he'll have another 2 weeks with no car.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Where do we get these morons??

A Windfall Tax on Retirement Income

Adding a tax to your retirement is simply another way of saying to the American people, you're so darn stupid that we're going to keep doing this until we drain every cent from you. That's
what the Speaker of the House is saying. Read below...............

Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income. In other words tax what you have made by investing toward your retirement. This woman is a nut case! You aren't going to
believe this.

Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on all stock market profits (including Retirement fund, 401K and Mutual Funds!) Alas, it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal
Immigrants and other unemployed Minorities!

This woman is frightening.

She quotes...' We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income, (didn't Marx say something like this?), in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest.'
(I am not rich, are you?)

When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied: 'We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities. For example, we have an estimated
12 million illegal immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long way to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as 'Americans'.'

(Read that quote again and again and let it sink in.) 'Lower your retirement, and give it to others who have not worked as you have for it'.

I got this from a friend... This is frightening!!!
I'm sorry, but if I work and save for my retirement, I don't want to give my hard earned savings to anyone. Thankyouverymuch....

Is this the kind of change you all wanted??? Yeah.. I thought not.

Here - Check THIS out... And then tell me that we are not moving toward Socialism...

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Divorce Agreement

A dear friend sent me this and I loved it!
Enjoy!!

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.


Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.


We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).


We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheehan, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English

Saturday, August 01, 2009

A letter

A friend sent me this and since I liked it so much, I thought I'd share:


To All Company Employees,

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that
Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.

But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal
state of the economy, we will have to lay off 60 of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found 60 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

The Boss

We need to get back to our roots...

"The house of representatives ... can make no law which will not
have its full operation on themselves and their friends, as well as
the great mass of society. This has always been deemed one of the
strongest bonds by which human policy can connect the rulers and the
people together. It creates between them that communion of interest,
and sympathy of sentiments, of which few governments have furnished
examples; but without which every government degenerates into
tyranny." --Federalist No. 57, February 19, 1788