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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Friends

Leanne over at Intricate Art talked about friends today and it got me thinking about a particular friend of mine. I call people like her my high maintenance friends...

Here's the scoop:
I met this girl at church. She told me that her kids were in boarding school in Europe and that she was lonely. I told her that I would be her friend. We chatted the next day and decided to have lunch. She was sweet and nice, but there was something rumbling just under the surface. 20/20 hindsight tells me it was my gut telling me to RUN!

We went shopping, we went for walks, we had fun. Then one day she called and asked me if I'd ride with her to her husband's office to drop off a suit or something. I said sure. The next day it was something else - I declined. I have a very busy volunteer schedule with the school and I was excersizing as well. I needed time at home for laundry and such. I hadn't started blogging yet, but if I had, you all would have heard about her before.

There were various other requests and sometimes I could do it and sometimes I couldn't. She often got snippy when I couldn't/wouldn't help her out. One day she called and wanted my husband to take her car someplace. My thought, "Excuse me, Lady. You have a husband. Get him to do it." My words, "I'm sorry, Mr. isn't home. He's out. He won't be back for quite a while." (He was here, but really!) The last straw for me was when she basically tackled me on Christmas Eve at church two years ago. She wanted me to bring LLB to her house on Christmas Day so that LLB could play with her young cousin. Oh and I could chat with the mother of this girl. Oh and she wanted us at NOON. Umm...NO. I told her that it WAS Christmas and that we had company - The Grandbugs were in town. Christmas is a family day in our family. I told her that we might be able to slip away around 4pm. She told me that was not acceptable. I told her that I was sorry, but that was the best I could do. We didn't go. LLB didn't want to go. She wanted to stay home and play with her toys. I didn't blame her. I wanted to stay home, too.

The girl is still mad.

I don't much care.

I prefer real friends like MommaK and my friends W, S and J. You see them or not. You chat on the phone once a week or less. You run into each other or not. But, when you do have time to really sit and chat, it's like no time has passed. We share news of our families. We laugh. We chat. No one is offended because someone hasn't called. Believe you me - if any of those girls ever needed my help - I'm so there! I'd drop everything and run for any one of them.

Real friends are important.

8 comments:

Katherine said...

Wow! I certainly wouldn't call her a "friend." I think the word "user" fits her much better...

Leanne said...

Real friends are definitely important, and it's too bad that she has a distorted view of what friendship is. Someday, though, she'll understand. ;)

Susan said...

You are SO RIGHT here!! I think this person was VERY needy and really was looking for a codependent relationship. Good for you for putting your foot down and setting a boundary.

Blessings.

Clearlykels said...

Seriously, Good friends are key. Headaches can just go far, far away.

Joan said...

True friends understand that friendship comes with no expectations. A friend may offer assistance but never should it be a requirement of the relationship. Perhaps someday she'll learn just that!

Barbara said...

More than a little demanding. I like how you held your ground.

mar said...

Real friends are a treasure...

FrogLegs said...

Nice, nornal friends are wonderful!! :) Sounds like the latter of your grouping wins teh awards. I can't believe she woudl ask that of your daughter- how ... rude.