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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Are You a

Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
       
You're walking down a  deserted street with your wife  and two small children.

 Suddenly, an Islamic  Terrorist with a huge knife  comes around the corner,  locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

 You are carrying a  Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
 You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
 What do you do?

 Democrat's Answer:
· Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
· Does the man look poor or oppressed?
· Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
· Could we run away?
· What does my wife think?
· What about the kids?
· Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
· What does the law say about this situation?
· Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
· Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
· Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
· Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
· If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
· Should I call 9-1-1?
· Why is this street so deserted?
· We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
· Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
· I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
· This is all so confusing!

............................................................................
Republican's Answer:

 BANG!


 .......................................................................

Redneck's Answer:

 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
 BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
 Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
 BANG!
 BANG!
 BANG!
 Click

 Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'  'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!'

 Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

 Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist

1 comment:

Renee said...

some days I don't mind my redneck roots. ;o)