Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Football FINALLY makes sense

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like.....Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!! '

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


(if you don't know what clotheslines are, better skip this)

1.  You had to wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes -
      walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

2.  You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" 
with "whites,"
      and hang them first.

3.  You never hung a shirt by the shoulders  - always by the tail!. What would 
the neighbors think?

4..  Wash day on a Monday! . ... . Never hang clothes on the weekend, or 
Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

5.  Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your 
"unmentionables" in the middle     ( perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

6.   It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather  .... Clothes would 

7.  Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on 
the lines were "tacky!"

8.  If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did 
not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next 
washed item.

9.  Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes 
basket, and ready to be ironed.

10. IRONED?!  Well, that's a whole other subject!

                        A  POEM

          A clothesline was a news forecast

          To neighbors passing by,

          There were no secrets you could keep

          When clothes were hung to dry.

          It also was a friendly link

          For neighbors always knew

          If company had stopped on by

          To spend a night or two.

          For then you'd see the "fancy sheets"

          And towels upon the line;

          You'd see the "company table cloths"

          With intricate designs.

          The line announced a baby's birth

          From folks who lived inside -

         As brand new infant clothes were hung,

          So carefully with pride!

          The ages of the children could

          So readily be known

          By watching how the sizes changed,

          You'd know how much they'd grown!

          It also told when illness struck,

         As extra sheets were hung;

         Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,

         Haphazardly were strung.

         It also said, "Gone on vacation now"

        When lines hung limp and bare.

        It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged

       With not an inch to spare!

        New folks in town were scorned upon

        If wash was dingy and gray,

       As neighbors carefully raised their brows,

      And looked the other way .. . .

      But clotheslines now are of the past,

      For dryers make work much less.

      Now what goes on inside a home

      Is anybody's guess!

      I really miss that way of life.

      It was a friendly sign

      When neighbors knew each other best

      By what hung on the line.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A funny

This came across my desk this morning...