Christmas Letter - 2014

Hello!

I thought I’d fill you in on our family life this year. Since there is so much to tell and I’m too lazy to write it all down in each and every Christmas card with a pen, you’re getting this note.

#1 is now 22 and is a Senior Chemistry Major at Virginia Military Institute. His senior thesis is about some bacteria I can’t say never mind spell and the effects of spices on it.  Cinnamon is the spice that works best to kill it – so my advice is to sprinkle cinnamon on everything.

He is an S2 Lieutenant, which – in my world - means he gets a sword, has a whole lot of embroidery on his sleeve, and marches up front for Parade. #1 continues to play the tenor sax in the Jazz Band. He is headed to Florida – to the beaches and Disney World for a week with the Jazz Band in just a few days. It certainly pays to be in the Jazz Band at VMI!

He spent a good part of this past summer in Fort Knox, Kentucky at LDAC – the Army’s Leadership Development Assessment Course. He scored an E for Excellent and came back “Army Strong”! Upon graduation, he will commission with the US Army and will be headed to Arizona to become an Intelligence Analyst – his first choice pick. His training there should last about six weeks and then he thinks he will be placed at Ft. Meade in MD for his first assignment.

LLB is a Sophomore Applied Mathematics and Physics Major at VMI. She continues to play the trumpet and is a member of the Regimental Band, the Jazz Band, and the Brass Ensemble. LLB has had an amazing year. She is also a “ranker” and holds the office of Corporal. As far as I can tell, that means she has some embroidery on her sleeve and gets to tell the Rats what to do. She has embraced all that VMI has to offer and has figured out how to “make it pay”. She is on the Recycling Committee, is a tour guide for the VMI Museum, and plays jazz gigs. Emma will be headed south with Matt and the rest of the Jazz Band to see Mickey and lounge on the beach. I’m sure they have a gig or two to play somewhere in Florida. When I find out where they will be, I’ll post it on Face Book.

This past summer, she spent a month learning about all the great things the US Navy has to offer her upon graduation. Sub Week was her favorite, Aviation Week came in a close second, but Marine week and Surface Warfare Week tied for last place. Needless to say, Submarines are where she wants to be.

LLB is back at the Episcopal Church in Lexington this fall – she missed the liturgy and the traditions of the church we call home here. Because of that, she acquired a new host family but also managed to hang on to her original host family, as they are terrific people. The new host family comes with a cat and a 4 year old. She loves it there!

Mr is still busy working. He enjoys sawing fallen trees with his chain saw and mowing our acreage with his tractor in his spare time.  He continues to play bass guitar in the Church Gospel band, and rings bells in two choirs.  I still direct a handbell choir and am active in the Prayer Shawl ministry at a local United Methodist Church.  Mr and I are involved in the VMI Parents Council and a half dozen other volunteer committees. Basically, we keep busy.  

Christmas 2013

Hello!

It's Christmas! Time for me to fill you in on what we've been up to. We've been busy!

#1 is now 21 and is a Junior Chemistry Major at Virginia Military Institute.   How time flies!  And no, I’m not old enough to have a college junior. This fall he got to participate in Ring Figure and got his VMI Class Ring. VMI is the toughest college in the nation and their rings are hard earned!

#1 continues to sing in the Glee Club and play sax in the Regimental Band and Jazz Band. FYI: VMI’s musicians travel much further than their football team. He played for the Presidential Inauguration in Washington DC this past January, spent Mardi Gras in New Orleans marching in the Endimyon Parade, spent spring break in Florida with the Glee Club, and is looking forward to the Gubernatorial Parade in Richmond in January and the St. Patrick’s Day parade in March in Savannah.

LLB is a Freshman Applied Mathematics and Physics Major at VMI. (I can spell that!) How do they grow up so fast?! She graduated from high school in June. Her senior year was busy and full. She once again directed the Pit Orchestra for the spring musical, went to USC for an Honor Band Clinic, and ran track for the first time.  She did all of this while she took AP classes, did an independent study in Multivariable Calculus, and fought off the symptoms of Senioritis.  All of her hard work paid off and she received a 4-year Navy Scholarship as well as an Institute Honors Scholarship to VMI.  

LLB continues to play the trumpet and is also a member of the Regimental Band, the Jazz Band, and the Glee Club, as well as the Brass Ensemble. LLB has had an amazing fall. She was selected to play the Herald Trumpet, played a few Jazz gigs for pay, and got to see her brother get his ring at Ring Figure.   She was privileged to be able to attend the VMI vs. Citadel game with the Regimental Band in Charleston this fall. (As a freshman, or Rat - as they are called at VMI, her time off campus is extremely limited.) She is looking forward to Break Out – that time where they cease to be Rats and become full-fledged 4^th Class Members of the Corps. She will march all those parades with Matt, and has been informed that the Brass Ensemble will be headed to Morocco next year. Unfortunately, they don’t need chaperones, so Mr and I will be here…

LLB likes to get off campus and away from the Cadre on Sundays, so she is playing handbells at the Lexington Presbyterian Church. She has a wonderful host family who provides her with a soft place to land between church and rehearsal.

There is so much more to tell, but I’m running out of space…

Mr works. He enjoys sawing fallen trees with his chain saw and mowing our acreage with his tractor in his spare time.  Once a month, he plays bass guitar in the Church Folk and Gospel band.  I direct a handbell choir and am active in the Prayer Shawl ministry at a local United Methodist Church.  We are involved in the VMI Parents Council and a half dozen other volunteer committees. Basically, we keep busy.   

The Empty Nest

So I read this page called Mamapedia. There was this one post where the mother wanted to know if An Empty Nest is Cause for Celebration. Well, yeah... Duh!

I posted an answer over there and since I really liked my answer, I'm going to post it over here for posterity.

Every step children take is a step away from mom and dad, but that is how it should be. 

I've been called "overprotective". I've called "over-involved". I've been called "a terrific mom". I've been called a lot of names over the years, but so what? I do what is best for my family, my children, and me. Yes... me. (It's not selfish. It's self preservation. I'm more than "just a mom".) We are a close knit family, but everyone needs space.

Heck, I'm the mom who clicked her heels when the kindergarten bus drove out of sight. Does that make me a bad mom? No. It makes me an honest mom. 

When it is time for my daughter - my youngest - to head to college this summer, I will be more than happy and extremely proud of her and her accomplishments. It is time for her to go and live her life. Her. Life. 

Will I click my heels? Maybe. Will I shed a tear or two? Probably. Will I grab Mr's hand and run for the car? You bet! It will be time for us... time for us to go back to being the couple we were 21 years ago before we had children.

We have worked toward that day starting with small steps of letting go. We got babysitters for date nights. We let them walk next to us without holding hands. We let them go to birthday parties and day camp. We let them make decisions - even if we thought they might make the "wrong" ones. We let them learn consequences. We let them go to overnight camp. We took them to the DMV to get the driving permit. We let them apply to colleges near and far and we let them choose the institution that they believe will serve them best.

Upon graduation from their colleges of choice, they will go on to see the world and do amazing things. I'm sure that they will come home -- to visit. So - am I looking forward to my children leaving? Yes. Yes I am. When it's time, it's time.

They will always be in our hearts, but they don't have to be underfoot forever...

LLB is getting ready to head off to college this summer. Where? We aren't sure just yet, but wherever she ends up it will be the right place for her. It will be bittersweet when we drop her off, but it will be time. 

It's August 13th? Already?

Really? Wow! The summer is almost gone... and I've been busy busy busy...
We've driven to Annapolis 3 times, Farmville (yes, it's a real place) twice, VMI three times, New London twice, Orkney Springs 3 times, Montreal, the Thousand Islands, and West Virginia. If I keep this up, Dad's car might actually hit 20k miles this year!
My LLB has been home a total of 9 days since June 2. She has had a great summer - it wasn't easy sometimes, but it is the stuff of which memories are made.  She did 7 camps - each one very different from the rest. She will look back on this summer as one of the best -- once her muscles stop hurting and she gets some serious sleep.
#1 spent most of the summer at VMI working on Calculus 3 and a Leadership class -- his 4.0 made it worth his time.  From there he went right to St. Elizabeth's camp to be a buddy and got his Shrine Mont fix. LLB was up there with him, so he did get some time with her.  He was home for one week and we weren't. Of course he was kinda happy about that! We were at Band Camp with LLB. She was marching her butt off and we were cooking 4 meals a day for 75 hungry souls. He, on the other hand was ensconced on the couch with his laptop, his TV, and his dog. He was supposed to be packing to go back to VMI... ahem.  That said, he did pick up the house and it was relatively spotless when we got home. I got less than 24 hours to spend with him - but we moms take what we can get, you know.  We spent a good 35 minutes packing his trunk -- why did that chore take all afternoon last year? He is back at VMI. He is Cadre and has a job: Company Clerk.  I miss him, but we have email and phone, so he isn't really all that far away.
Today my baby starts her "Behind The Wheel" driving lessons and in approximately one week, she will have her driver's license. This means that if I get her a parking spot at school, she will be driving my sweet CRV, and I will be left with the Civic or the Camry for wheels. Do I like this? Ummm... not so much.  I'd honestly prefer that she learn how to drive the Camry and take that. But it is a stick and we are out of time until she is home longer than it takes for her to do homework and crawl into bed at an unreasonably late hour. So - I have two choices.  I can either suck it up or make her take the bus... And since I really don't feel like driving to school every day at 6pm to pick her up from band practice, I'll be sucking it up - a lot.
If you need me this week, check the Uniform Room. I'll be stuffing kids into band uniforms and telling them not to grow until the season is over in November.

I wrote a letter to the editor, but I'm not sure it's going to make the paper, so I'm going to post it here for the world to see.


Dear Editor,


Dr. L and the School Board have instituted fees for participating in the music ensembles. If each ensemble has its own $60 fee this is going to get mighty expensive!


Let me break it down for you:


My daughter is involved in Marching Band, Brass Ensemble, Jazz Band, Percussion Ensemble, and Pep Band.  Do the Math: $60 x 5 = $300 just for music.  Add in Theatre, Spring Track, and Swim Team for another $180 and we’re up to $480 – this doesn’t even include the consumables fees I have to pay at the beginning of the year, nor does it include the incidental costs associated with each group like band camp ($350), instrument costs ($50 -$100), gloves ($3/pair), shoes ($35), uniform cleaning ($60), transportation costs ($??), track shoes ($95 - $145), warm ups ($150), swim suits ($60), and the fundraising imposed by each group. Basically, Dr. Lewis and the School Board have priced my daughter out of her activities.  I can only imagine how financially unattainable this is going to be for families with two or three students involved in these activities.

My daughter is a senior and that privilege comes with even more fees, if you can believe it!  The year starts with activity fees ($60), the consumables fees ($25) and the parking fees ($100), which must be paid in order to get her schedule.  Then there is the $100 for the yearbook (It’s her senior year and she should be allowed to have this one.), the graduation announcements ($75 - $100), the fee for the cap and gown ($25), the SAT and ACT costs ($50 each), and the application fees for college ($50 each).  The year finally ends with the fee for the National Honor Society stole ($20) and bill from guidance for the transcripts that were required by the colleges and scholarships to which she applied ($2 each).  Basically, I’ll spend the year writing checks to FHS. I thought that this was a “free” education paid for with my tax dollars. Yeah, I know - there’s no such thing as a free lunch.

I have one more tidbit – It said in the paper that Dr. L is “implementing” a $60 fee for swimming. Excuse me, but we have ALWAYS paid the activity fee for Swimming. This is nothing new! I keep paying fees, but when I ask where money goes, I can’t get an answer. They cash the checks, and the money just disappears into a dark hole!  It certainly never ended up in the Marching Band or the Swim Team coffers.

They just don't get it...

Those of you who know me personally know that I have been fighting city hall for some time. First it was to fight the $25 million to build a new school building that did not give the teachers and faculty what they needed -- more classrooms. Yes, for $25 million, you too, can gain ONE classroom. Yeah - like that's fiscally responsible spending... whatever.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people have no idea how their tax dollars are being spent.  Just today someone said to me, "Tell me what classrooms are in the new building. What's where? And, How many classrooms does the new building give us?" Are you kidding me? That's your tax dollar!!! Do you not pay attention to what is going on around you? Do you not read the paper?? It's no wonder the School Board doesn't like me and my cronies... they'd rather just do what they want without any questions or checks and balances and not be bothered with the nosy conservative parents that we are.

My kid has one year left in this school system and once she graduates, I'm going to have plenty of time to sit in meetings and irritate the crap out of our elected officials. And you know what? I'm kinda looking forward to it.

But really, you know what really has my knickers in a twist?

The middle school sports program went from a competitive program that served a few excellent athletes to an intramural program that serves far more students for far less cost. These parents think they've lost something. In effect, they still have a program at a cost of $86K and they saved $140k by doing this. The high school music program lost all of the Ensemble programs. The cost for that: $15k - that's $5k per school.  The sports people don't seem to care that we've lost it all. We have nothing. Nada. Zip. All they care about is that they don't have their competitive program. OMG! You people are ridiculous! You still have sports at the middle school level. We have NO ensembles at the high school level. No ensembles for the kids who play instruments. No ensembles that give leadership opportunities. No ensembles that allow some of the kids who can't take music classes because of scheduling conflicts to still play their instruments.

When you speak to people and you tell them that the sports programs still have some sort of a program - and it might not be a competitive program, they tell you that the athletics are important. They don't even listen! They just tell you that athletics is good for kids. Well -- you know what? So is music! Music makes a better math student. Music is a life long endeavor. How many 75 year olds do you see out there playing football?? Hmmm??

Think about it this way: What is a world without music? Think about a movie... no music? Boring movie. Even the silent movies had piano music! What is Disney World without music? Pretty dull, right? How about your radio stations? No music = all talk.  You sigh and think I'm crazy. Now, you go home and turn on the TV. Without music, your show would be mighty dull, right?  There is even music in the grocery store and your favorite restaurant's bathrooms! You go to see rock concerts - those stars started somewhere! You go to see the Fireworks on the 4th, The Nutcracker at Christmas, or you go to the Opera or the Symphony -- you can bet your bottom dollar that many of those musicians were in their high school jazz ensembles, pep bands, brass ensembles and more.

The latest bit of buzz from the school department is that we can have the high school ensembles back if we "Self Pay".  Excuse me, but why is it that the athletic programs are always funded by the school system - albeit some only partially - and the music students have the privilege of a self-pay program? That is absolutely ludicrous!    If the school department wants me to pay for the privilege of having my daughter in an ensemble, then they will be paying for the privilege of listening to her and her classmates play for Baccalaureate, Awards Night, GED Graduations, and more.  Fair's fair. Right?

Craziness (or where has the time gone?)

I cannot believe that I've not posted since February!
I'm such a slacker!

So let me catch you up on life here at The Crossing.

The pool is open. It's a really chilly 60 degrees in there right now.

I've stacked a few tons of wood.

I've weeded and mulched the front yard and planted some plants. Did you know that you can fit 30 bags of mulch in a Toyota Highlander? Well, you can.

Grandpa planted a bunch of plants out by the pool. We hope we get rain so that they grow into a lush little garden out there.

I've gotten the chair cushions down from the attic.  The weather turned, and I brought the cushions in. Petite Minou took them as her own little throne from which to survey all that is hers.

I've cleaned off the outdoor furniture -- only to have it immediately be re-covered with pollen.

I've vacuumed up more stink bug carcasses than I care to mention. I'm ready for them to go out and stay out.

We visited some colleges. LLB said more than once, "The campus is beautiful, but it's just not for me." She'll find her school. She's got a couple she loves and if ROTC comes through, she'll be a happy camper.

The VMI Boys came home for Easter.

LLB went to prom and Mr. and I chaperoned the overnight After Prom party. It was a fun night and I must admit that I'm getting better at All-Nighters.

I fought city hall a few dozen times.

We had visitors from our old home town. It was so nice to see them and spend some time chatting over dinner.  It was just like old times.

We are prepping for the overnight cast party. I've got a few pulled porks, a batch of cole slaw, some potato salad, and some s'more fixin's to prep. 

Grandpa made some outdoor umbrella stands out of my ingenious design. (FYI: You bang a piece of pipe into the ground, put some gravel in the bottom, and insert umbrella.  It's brilliant, I tell you! And I thought it up all by myself!)

LLB's got some SATs to take.
I've got some water to sell at graduation.
Then it's on to summer. We are definitely ready for summer.