Crazy Pet Tricks

I have a brother-in-law who lives in the great white north. He's a cop - a big guy you wouldn't want to mess with. He's an animal lover to the nth degree. Since I've known him he's had cats, pythons, dogs, iguanas, hamsters, birds, and more. In the past it seemed BIL had a revolving pet door, but that stopped about 8 years ago when he settled down an built his house. He had dogs until recently and at the moment he has two mastiffs, a snake, an iguana, and some hamsters.

BIL is the consummate pet owner. He does everything possible to keep his pets in the lap of luxury. He put a light in the iguana tank a while back to keep the fellow warm. It seems that Mr. Iguana was taking a leisurely drink when the light fell into the water and sort of electrocuted Mr. Iguana. BIL was very upset and prepared to bury his scaly friend in the back yard. As he was preparing to ummm... dump him, Mr. Iguana woke up. Nothing like having your favorite reptile reincarnate! (I'm thinking he may have screamed like a girl.) BIL is obviously thrilled, but was a bit shaken by the whole incident.

The next day, BIL's hamster had babies - many babies. BIL didn't know that he should not touch the babies - why he did not know that, I don't know - even I know that! Anyway, he meant no harm, but he touched the babies. The mother then proceeded to eat the babies' heads off. BIL is now totally traumatized. So far he has almost electrocuted his iguana and caused the death of his hamster brood. What is next for this poor guy??

Along those pet lines, Mr. Bug had a life changing experience yesterday.

He arrived home from dropping the kids at school and pulled the car into the garage as he always does. He pushed the button to lower the garage door and then looked to make sure his car was in far enough - he likes more room in front of the car than behind. When he looked, he saw Marmalade standing under the door - yes the door was descending at a relatively slow rate. He called to Marmalade. Marmalade just stood there and smiled. "Hey, Dad!!"
"Marmalade, come on, you've got to move!!"
Marmalade does not move.
"Dad, I'm very happy right here. I'm half in and half out."
Mr. realizes that he's going to see LLB's favorite cat smooshed by the garage door. He leaps into action - his cape was in the wash so he didn't bother to change into his Super Dad suit.
He dives for the door. The cat still does not move.
Mr. lands on his stomach - arms outstretched - with his hands in fists to stop the door and make it go back up.
The cat is now feeling the door on his back but just shrinks down - he does not run. Super Dad is here to save him!
The door pops back up.
Marmalade looks at Mr. "Thanks, Dad."
Marmalade is fine.
"Marmalade, next time I tell you to move, you've got to do what I say, okay?"
"Hmmm... I'll think about it."
Marmalade then came inside and had a snack. He was not traumatized in the least.
I can't say the same for Mr. He was a bit shaken up.
I've got to get his Super Dad cape out of the dryer.

Pillow Talk - 2

LLB was curled up in her bed trying to fall asleep. Marmalade appeared and sat on the corner of her pillow. He got comfy and promtly fell asleep.
Later that night, LLB awoke to find her sweet head totally off the pillow.
Marmalade was sleeping right smack in the middle of her pillow - again.
LLB turned onto her tummy to face him.
"Excuse me, Marmadoo... Get off of my pillow."
Marmalade opened one eye and looked at her.
"What do you think you are doing on my pillow. Get off!"
Marmalade lifted his head, looked right at her, and re-comfyfied himself and mumbled "I'm trying to sleep. Please be quiet."
"Marm... Get off!"
"Ummm.... No... No thankyou. I'm very happy right here in the middle of your pillow. It's warm. It's soft. It's smells good - like you."
"Nice try... at least move over."
"Hmmmm.... let me think.... mmm.... no."
LLB picked him up and put him off to one side of the pillow... (I would have tossed the poor boy across the room!)
He sighed, "Fine. This will have to do."
"Thank you, Marmadoo."
"You are very welcome... Now, go to sleep so I can scootch back."

This time LLB maintained her pillow position until daylight.

Score: LLB 1 - Marmalade 1

Pillow Talk

Here's a Marmalade story for you...

LLB's room has been spotless for the past week - this is a miracle people, so work with me on this.

I keep finding Marmalade curled up asleep on her pillow. No matter when I go in there, he's happly ensconced on her pillow. He looks so happy there.

Last night when LLB went to bed, he was perched on her pillow. He gave her the look that said, "Lady. I'm sleeping right here. Do NOT move me. I am happy here."
She sighed and settled for a corner of her pillow.
In the middle of the night she woke up to find that she was not on her pillow. Nor was she anywhere near her pillow. Marmalade was curled up right in the center of her pillow smiling in his sleep.
She rolled over to face him.
"Marmalade, wake up."
He opened his eyes and lifted his head and looked right at her.
"Marm, this is my bed and THIS is MY pillow."
"Why, yes, LLB it is. LLB, this is a very comfy pillow, by the way. I love it and this flannel snowman pillowcase is so soft and snuggly!"
"Yes. I know. Marm, move over and give me some pillow."
"Ummm.... no. I'd rather not. I'm very happy right here."
"Marm, I share my bed with you every night. I share my pillow with you and you know that nobody else in this house would let you near their pillows with that hideous fish breath of yours. Just give me some space, k?"
"Hmmm... no. I'm comfy and warm right here. It's cold on that side of the pillow."
"Marm, you're nuts. Just move over, please..."
"Make me."
"Okay." She moved him over and promptly fell asleep.
Marmalade sighed... It was just a matter of time.
He waited until she was asleep and he tiptoed back to the top of her head. He curled up in her warm blonde hair.
"Ahhh.. this is lovely..." And he very gently pushed her off the pillow.

Score: Marmalade 1 LLB 0