We traveled through Europe in a yellow VW Beetle with Massachusetts license plates one summer. I was 7. My cousin was about 12. My mother was pregnant - not cute pregnant... pregnant. (My dad must have been crazy to attempt a vacation such as this under these conditions...)
Picture this in your mind: It is 1972. It is July. It is HOT! It is HUMID! Everyone is sticky. We were in Italy - Venice - We were in St. Mark's Square - to be exact. Venice is beautiful, but it is smelly. There are pidgeons everywhere...You see all the pictures of the pidgeons on TV... There are many many more in real life. Remember, it was really hot. My mother wasn't feeling her best, as you can only imagine...
We had had to PAY to use a public toilet. The so called clerk in the bathroom tried to pull a fast one. My mother is a force not be reckoned with when she isn't pregnant - you should have seen her when she had a bowling ball for a tummy and a pea for a bladder... The clerk found that out... We finally got to use the toilet and it wasn't a toilet, it was a hole in the floor...
Can you even imagine... When you gotta go....
We were trying to decide what to see next. We were standing by a tall column thingy in St. Mark's Square.
A pidgeon pooped on my mother's head.
It wasn't a little drip. It was a huge white smelly plop... The kind that smear your windshield.
My cousin's eyes got enormous. I caught my breath... Dad was having a hard time not smirking. My cousin and I had a choice to make -- If we laughed, my mom could lose it and it wouldn't be pretty. If we didn't we'd surely die. We howled with laughter.
Mom wasn't thrilled, but she made the best of it. She managed to hold it together.
I will never forget how annoyed she was. She doesn't do birds on a good day.
I think that may have been the last second we spent in Venice.
NOW it is funny... THEN it wasn't funny...
Well, I thought it was... and I still do!
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