Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Jeans...

I chose some clothes to wear yesterday - out of the laundry basket. (They were clean and folded, just not put away yet... they still aren't put away...)

I chose a lovely turtleneck sweater and a pair of black jeans.

As I was mentally considering which necklace to wear with my outfit, I pulled the first leg of the jeans on. It grabbed my thigh and started to squeeze.
Hmm... how long did I leave these in the dryer?
As I pulled the second leg on, the squeezing started at my knee - I was losing circulation in my foot.
How can this be? I only ate one Kit-Kat on Sunday...
Gee... maybe I need to stop eating - like forever! These jeans fit last week...

I pulled them up - with a whole lot of wiggling and struggling. Heck, I broke a sweat!

Then attempted to button them.

I tried to stretch them out a little by bending and squatting. (Like that was going to work!)

Let's just say that there was no way that I could even THINK about buttoning them. The gap between the button and the hole was the size of the Grand Canyon!

Panic set in and I freaked out! OMG! I'm FAT! I'm never eating again!
Wait, what size are these?

I glanced down at the tag to discover - to my great relief - that the jeans did not belong to me - they belong to #1. My tall, skinny, teenaged son. Whew!!

I quickly released myself from the confines of those jeans. My feet returned to their normal pinky color - blue is so unattractive.

I breathed... deeply. Then I went and found some sweats and a fleece...

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