Polo Fodder

I was in the new porta-potty at polo last night. I was there for obvious reasons, but I was really there because the men in my house insisted that these potties were so fantastically wonderful that they required a visit. They were okay. They were portable multi-stall restrooms. But - the stalls - those were itty bitty!!

Anyway, I was finishing up when I heard:
Ring Ring... Ring Ring (the cell phone in the next potty went off)
Sigh...
Umm... hello?
Listen, I'm at polo in an outdoor toilet. Let me step out. (Does she really think the caller needs to know that?)
She exited the stall and stood in front of the sink. (Would the caller really know if she were still in the stall?)
At this point it was too much for me and I started to giggle as I washed my hands.
She went on and on about who was where, who should be where, what she was upset about, and who she was angry at - but when all was said and done, she was still in the potty!


There was a fashion show at polo last night. Some of the fashion was on the models and some was on the polo crowd. Our faves were the lady who showed up in a yellow maxi dress with tiers of very sheer fabric separated by rows of crochet. The best part of the outfit was that she only had on a thong underneath. It was also a halter style so when she bent over, she left nothing to the imagination. Lets just say that my children got an education in "what not to wear". The other favorite of the men in the group was a lady in a white sheer dress with the biggest chest we have ever seen. She was also in desperate need of support. We saw a lot of polo goers with the latest fashion style - winter boots with summer shorts. What's with that? I'm sorry your black leather winter boots with chunky heels do NOT go with your creamy white linen booty shorts and your spaghetti strap top.

R and I were intrigued by the young man who wore knickers, striped socks, a bow tie and a white Ralph Lauren button down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. We decided that he had to be super wealthy because any normal person dressed like that would be considered odd, have no friends, and wouldn't even be given the time of day.

The children got a lesson on the effects of alcohol last night, too. Not something we had intended to teach (and have never had to deal with at polo before), but the opportunity presented itself. The lady who sat in front of our spot was drinking Crown Royal. She drank a LOT of it. At one point she was so toasted that she couldn't even sit up. (It was like watching a car accident - you don't want to watch, but it's just so interesting!) Someone got her a chair, helped her up off the ground, and put her in it. We thought she might fall while they attempted to put her into the chair. It was a good thing she fell back into the chair, because otherwise she would have done a face plant into the grass... I'd bet money that she spent part of the night talking to Ralph on the porcelain phone. Today she is going to be one hurting puppy. We discussed hangovers, poor behavior, and all kinds of stuff with the kids last night. It was good to show them how awful people look when they are totally trashed. Better they see it when they are in high school and be able to discuss it with us than to be that person in college.

Polo is a great time. I love to people watch. And, if I can teach my children life lessons in a safe environment, so much the better.

Next week's theme is College Night. I can't wait to see who and what shows up for that!

A Weekend Funny

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!

Project Central

Why is it that teachers decide to assign projects for the last couple of weeks of school? My house - which was all tidy last weekend - is now completely covered in various stages of projects. It hurts me to think that my house was so lovely such a short time ago... These teachers had better appreciate these projects and reward my offspring - and my patience - with nothing but A's!

LLB has to make a game for science (which in theory is a great project - just not right now). There are question cards piled all over my counter. There are various sized paper crumbs in a multitude of colors strewn from one end of the family room to another. AND she hasn't even started on the game board portion! I think she's saving that for this evening or all day tomorrow. I'm absolutely thrilled... NOT!

#1 has another paper due for World History 2AP. This one is on Richard Miller - the FBI Agent convicted of espionage. Just so you know, there is very little information available out there on that man, but whatever could be found is currently all over my dining room - the dining room that was clean just a few days ago...

There are other projects in the works - I know there is an Italy project somewhere in the Precambrian layer. LLB needs a few things from me to get that ready to be packed up including a red and white checked table cloth and cheezy Italian music. Don't ask. Just be glad you won't have to put up with Funiculi Funicula or O Sole Mio for 45 min. of class time. Fortunately for the kids in that class, she's bringing in Italian bread and garlic oil appetizers. They can dip their bread in garlic oil and stuff it in their ears. (Well, that's what I'd do). As for the teacher - I hope she has Funiculi Funicula stuck in her head for the entire summer!

Internet Safety

I'm very particular about what gets posted on the internet about my children. You'll never see their faces and their real names together on the page. You'll never see any physical location with their names and faces together, either. This is why I was BLOWN AWAY by the ballet lady's daughter posting LLB's real full name, picture, and show location on her F*cebook page.
I had logged on to my FB page to check in that morning and there was LLB's gorgeous face staring out at me as part of this other girl's photo album. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing correctly. I almost blew a gasket at 5:30am. Believe me, if it hadn't been so stinking early, I would have called their house and let them all have it - ballet lady included.
Not only was LLB's face smiling back at me, there were also some other girls from the studio.
I emailed the ballet lady's daughter and the ballet lady and asked them very nicely to take the picture of LLB down. (Yes, it took a lot of control on my part.) When I ranted to Mr. as he shuffled toward the coffee pot, he became instantly alert. Mr. was not happy. At. ALL.
The ballet lady's daughter took the pictures down, but she really doesn't understand why I was so upset. She doesn't understand that there are crazy people out there. I'd like my child to grow up without having to worry about stalkers and pedophiles, thankyouverymuch. When you put a face and a name and a location of something that will happen in the future - like a ballet show - you've given them all the information they need. Call me paranoid. I'm fine with it.
When we advertise the ballet shows, we don't put the kids' pictures in the newspapers, on any advertising, or on the internet... EVER. So - Why would some 20 year old think it's okay to put MY kid's image on the internet with geographic information??
Yes, because she's young and stupid.
But, she can be stupid with her own image...

Mamapedia - The Wisdom of Moms

I was asked to review Mamapedia by Mom Central.

Mamapedia is a resource for moms.

Directly from the site:
Mamapedia™ is...

* For mothers with kids of all ages
* Questions by moms, answered by moms who’ve been there
* Over a million answers on everything from Acne to Zoos
* Easily searchable and browsable
* Updated daily
* 100% free

I went to Mamapedia and surfed around for quite a while. The responses to the questions are honest, insightful, and well thought out. For example, if you want to send your kid to summer camp, just ask. The responses are amazing! Who knew there were so many options!?

If you have a teenager, you can surf the teen section. Want to know how to motivate a 16 year old? Just ask.
Have a two year old who is making you crazy? So does someone else!
Are you TTC? There's a section for you, too.
There's even a section for Moms - 'cause we have questions, too.

Do yourself a favor. Check out Mamapedia!!

Thoughts

This was written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland ,
Ohio - "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It
is the most-requested column I've ever written."


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'. I'm in the 7%.

The Concert

Yesterday afternoon was my final school bell concert.
The kids did pretty well. The first song was ok, but the second - Siyahamba - was terrific! They did a great job!
I just have to do grades and then my summer can start.
Those grades will be done this morning - trust me!