Sunday, May 31, 2009

Polo Fodder

I was in the new porta-potty at polo last night. I was there for obvious reasons, but I was really there because the men in my house insisted that these potties were so fantastically wonderful that they required a visit. They were okay. They were portable multi-stall restrooms. But - the stalls - those were itty bitty!!

Anyway, I was finishing up when I heard:
Ring Ring... Ring Ring (the cell phone in the next potty went off)
Umm... hello?
Listen, I'm at polo in an outdoor toilet. Let me step out. (Does she really think the caller needs to know that?)
She exited the stall and stood in front of the sink. (Would the caller really know if she were still in the stall?)
At this point it was too much for me and I started to giggle as I washed my hands.
She went on and on about who was where, who should be where, what she was upset about, and who she was angry at - but when all was said and done, she was still in the potty!

There was a fashion show at polo last night. Some of the fashion was on the models and some was on the polo crowd. Our faves were the lady who showed up in a yellow maxi dress with tiers of very sheer fabric separated by rows of crochet. The best part of the outfit was that she only had on a thong underneath. It was also a halter style so when she bent over, she left nothing to the imagination. Lets just say that my children got an education in "what not to wear". The other favorite of the men in the group was a lady in a white sheer dress with the biggest chest we have ever seen. She was also in desperate need of support. We saw a lot of polo goers with the latest fashion style - winter boots with summer shorts. What's with that? I'm sorry your black leather winter boots with chunky heels do NOT go with your creamy white linen booty shorts and your spaghetti strap top.

R and I were intrigued by the young man who wore knickers, striped socks, a bow tie and a white Ralph Lauren button down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. We decided that he had to be super wealthy because any normal person dressed like that would be considered odd, have no friends, and wouldn't even be given the time of day.

The children got a lesson on the effects of alcohol last night, too. Not something we had intended to teach (and have never had to deal with at polo before), but the opportunity presented itself. The lady who sat in front of our spot was drinking Crown Royal. She drank a LOT of it. At one point she was so toasted that she couldn't even sit up. (It was like watching a car accident - you don't want to watch, but it's just so interesting!) Someone got her a chair, helped her up off the ground, and put her in it. We thought she might fall while they attempted to put her into the chair. It was a good thing she fell back into the chair, because otherwise she would have done a face plant into the grass... I'd bet money that she spent part of the night talking to Ralph on the porcelain phone. Today she is going to be one hurting puppy. We discussed hangovers, poor behavior, and all kinds of stuff with the kids last night. It was good to show them how awful people look when they are totally trashed. Better they see it when they are in high school and be able to discuss it with us than to be that person in college.

Polo is a great time. I love to people watch. And, if I can teach my children life lessons in a safe environment, so much the better.

Next week's theme is College Night. I can't wait to see who and what shows up for that!

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