Monday, May 08, 2006

Monday Memories

Monday Memories: Did I ever tell you The Corkscrew Story?

Last week the Drama teacher wanted Mr. Bug to build a bench. Everyone who knows Mr. Bug knows that this is not his forte.
Wanna know how we know?

Picture this:
We are young. We have a tiny infant - #1 Son. We have just met some new parents very much like ourselves. We decide to have a dinner party to swap war stories. We don't know these people very well - yet.

I set the table with our best china and silver.
I make a lovely casserole for dinner. (I was still cooking back then!) Everyone brings something. One family brought a beautiful salad, another brought dessert... you know the drill.

Mr. Bug brings home a bottle of wine to have with dinner. It has a cork in it. We usually buy the jug wine with the screw top. We are Italian. That's what you do. But, we figured we'd be hip and have a "nice bottle of wine" with dinner.

Everyone is in the kitchen chatting. The babies are in the living room passed out in their car seats. Mr. Bug gets out our one and only corkscrew. He inserts it into the cork and turns it in. He starts to pull it out and we hear... "snap". Mr. Bug looks shocked. He has part of the corkscrew in his hand. The rest is in the cork. The cork is still in the bottle. (Insert expletive here.)

We cannot just shove the cork into the bottle. We can't get the corkscrew out. The guys start tossing ideas out...

Mr. Bug runs down to his toolbox. (You all do remember he isn't handy, right?) He comes back with a pair of red handled pliers. He clamps it onto the corkscrew. He tells one of the guys - who we barely know - to hold the bottle. I am mortified as I watch. He pulls the pliers. They inturn pull the winebottle. The guy holding the bottle is running across my kitchen to try to keep hold of the bottle. I am laughing now. As are all the other ladies... Fortunately, everyone in attendance had a wicked sense of humor.

The rest of the guys get in on the fun. They try various things and then decide that they should all hold the bottle securely on the counter. Yup - 3 strapping guys holding one bottle of cheap wine... Mr. Bug is in the zone. He gives one final tug. The cork comes out of the bottle, the pliers handle flies directly into Mr. Bugs exceedingly large forehead. Blood pours down his face. He is ecstatic! The wine is open!

I try to shuffle him into the bathroom ASAP. He has put a hole in his forehead and we haven't even started the salad yet! He keeps telling me he's fine. He'll be fine AFTER I clean him up, put a bandaid on his forehead, and set a large glass of wine in his hand!!

Do you see why the man knows he shouldn't play with power tools?


Links to other Monday Memories

Click here for the Monday Memories code
Click here for Shelli's blog

Trackbacks, pings, and comment links are accepted and encouraged!


Melzie said...

Just so long as he doesn't put a hole in another bopdy part, LOL!!!

Katherine said...

I love it! I'm Italian too and until my Grandpa died, our wine came out of the barrel in his cellar. ha ha

Anonymous said...

Oh, thats funny. I can imagine how mortified you were -- esp. since you didn't know these people very well. Leave it to the men to do something like this:) hehe.

Anonymous said...

Oops - forget to say -- my MM is up:)

Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess said...

You are wise to keep that man clear of all story..

Renee Nefe said...

That is funny. We don't do wine very much here so I have to remember where the corkscrew is when a guest brings some over.

Thanks for stopping by.

Anonymous said...

[url][/url] [url=]multiple hands same table poker online[/url] multiple hands same table poker online [url][/url] [url=]professional online poker player[/url] professional online poker player [url][/url] [url=]used in acctual play world poker tour chips[/url] used in acctual play world poker tour chips [url][/url] [url=]online strip tease poker[/url] online strip tease poker [url][/url] [url=]500 115 gram poker chips under 40 dollars[/url] 500 115 gram poker chips under 40 dollars [url][/url] [url=]strip poker poker chips[/url] strip poker poker chips [url][/url] [url=]best places to play online poker[/url] best places to play online poker [url][/url] [url=]clay poker chips 5000 denomination[/url] clay poker chips 5000 denomination [url][/url] [url=]let it ride poker online[/url] let it ride poker online [url][/url] [url=]suited striped poker chips[/url] suited striped poker chips

Anonymous said...