Sunday, January 01, 2006

A New Year's Tale

It was 3am. I was awakened by a constant drone in my right ear. MisterBug was snoring again. I thought it would stop. It did not. I decided to take a walk to the bathroom - maybe by the time I got back, it would stop.

I went through my list of remedies my mother gave me to stop the incessant snore. (She's been dealing for almost 50 years and has my Dad trained to stop snoring with a quick "Shhh" or a light touch with the index finger to the shoulder. She trained him well.) I have not been as successful.

I tried hopping into bed and flapping the covers. Maybe a blast of cold air will shock the snore out of him. Not..

I poked the shoulder. I used my index finger, two fingers, and then my whole hand. Nuthin...

I shushed. Nope..

I took all the covers. I thought maybe if he got cold enough, he'd wake up... nah...

I pushed him over on his side. I literally turned him over. That was the most ineffective move - he got louder.

I gave up. I had finally drifted off when I was awakened with the sound and stench of a fart. I turned to him and said "You stink." He said, "Happy New Year, Dear." I said, "Please spray and Happy New Year to you too." He said, "Oh, did I fart? I'm sorry."

He is a sweet guy. He made me a lovely waffle for breakfast.

My MisterBug is the best bug for me.


Katherine said...

Oh God! That had me laughing. I can't even count the number of times my husband has woken me out of a dead sleep by farting. And of course he continues to sleep on through it all!

Anonymous said...