Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A letter to W

Dearest W,

I was going to try to let you do your own thing and hope you got your stuff together, but you lied to me - about a lot of things.

So - now, all bets are off.

When you called me and told me you had gotten out of rehab. I was surprised, but glad. This meant that you were free from the codeine.
When you told me that you had also abused alcohol. I was blown away.
Then when you told me that you met someone new... I wasn't surprised... this is what normally happens in therapy. I read... a lot. I see it all the time in books and articles. This is the reason the therapists don't want you to make any life changes for a year... I want you to be happy, but I can't let you throw your life away without telling you how I feel and what I think.

You have two beautiful girls who deserve a happy healthy family. Your addiction has changed that. Now, all we can do, is hope that they aren't scarred for life. They have seen you at your lowest. I'm sure you never wanted that to happen.

You have a husband - B. Remember him?
He loved you enough to do it all when you couldn't.
He loved you enough to move to the midwest. He left his family - the family that raised him when his parents died. The family that loves him. He left them behind to be with you -

Because he loves you...
Wake up! Smell the coffee!!!

He loved you enough to do an intervention.
He loved you enough to put you in a treatment program.
He loved you enough to throw all of his and your savings into your treatment - to try to help you.
He loved you enough to go to therapy to learn how things are with addicts.

He thought he had you back when he saw you part way through your treatment. He fell in love with you all over again. And he thought you and he were still okay. And things were okay -- you were talking about date nights and getting back to being a family... Until you met some nut. This nut who calls you all the time.. who NEEDS you. You are his new addiction and he is yours. Get over it.

B loved you enough to let you go to FL to the roomie you met in therapy - unfortunately you betrayed his trust and went to see the nut. NOT smart.

He loved you enough to let you go on vacation without him - and then you asked him to plan the route - and he did.

You are selfish. Life isn't all about you.
This man deserves more.

He is heartbroken and you did this to him.

Your therapist told you NOT to make ANY life changes for at least one year.
Did you listen?
B loved you enough to go to mediation - to appease you, but you threw it in his face and filed for divorce that very day.
How selfish can you be?
This isn't fair to to B. It certainly isn't fair to the girls.
They deserve a real family. Take a step back, and figure it out.

Now, I haven't mentioned your mom and dad. They are worried about you. They love you more than you will ever know. They are frantic. But you don't seem to give a care.
This is not the W I know and love.

You need to get your rear back into therapy.
You are not cured.
You are on a slippery slope.
How do I know this?
You lied to me.

So - I've said my peace.
If you never speak to me again because of it, just know that I love you.
I'll be here... whenever you are ready.


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