Packer - thy name is Mud.

I went to C*stc* today to get 3 cakes and a bunch of other stuff on our list. The main reason I went was to get 2 cakes for #1's birthday celebration at the competition tomorrow and 1 cake because the Bishop is coming to our church to confirm two people.  The cake for the Bishop's reception needs to be "just so", you know?  The writing on the cake had to say what it had to say because there are rules, you know? Anyway... I get to the store. I head for the bakery. They have the birthday cakes which I promptly put on that shelf underneath the cart.  I got the church cake and asked them to write the words. They did a beautiful job - it's fall colors. The words are a lovely shade of autumn red... It is "just so".
I very carefully load the cart with all my other goodies during my jaunt up and down the aisles. I am intense about this cake... Nothing can touch the box. There can be nothing but soft items near the box... I'm a bit anal about this cake. I get to the checkout and put all my stuff up on the belt. I put the cake on LAST.  (this is a very important sentence... I put it on LAST!!! Dead. LAST.)
I pay the lady and go to take my cart which the "packer" has packed.
MY CAKE for the BISHOP's RECEPTION IS UNDER the 3 POUNDS of chips.
He RUINED my cake! He SMOOSHED my cake!!
I was so upset!!
They told me that they would replace it or fix it. As I was talking to the register manager, one of the other boxes the packer packed slid off and onto the floor.
My stuff went in every direction... It was like a scene from a bad comedy...
Could this get any worse? or any more surreal?
I took my cake and walked toward the bakery. I figured they'd at least commiserate.
When I arrived at the bakery, the lady remembered me.
"What happened?"
"They ruined my cake!!!"
"Who? The packers?"
"Yes! He smooshed it!!! He put a huge bag of chips on top of it!"
"Don't worry - we'll fix it. And, we'll deal with him!" Her eyes turned into little slits and her upper lip twitched. I'm sure Mr. Packer will be wishing he'd paid more attention in packer training class...
As she took my wounded cake back to the decorator she told each and every person working in the bakery about the incompetence of Mr. Packer...
Yes, Mr. Packer... thy name is mud in the bakery. Those ladies in the bakery who work really hard to make beautiful creations for your customers - they aren't too thrilled with you...
She brought back my cake - as good as new.
I made it home without incident.
The cake is currently in my fridge - top shelf - all by itself.
If anyone even considers breathing near it, there will be consequences...